All I Have
by fanandwriter
Summary: Erin Lindsay is spiralling out of control, when Voight has no effect on her can her partner Jay pull her through this.
1. Chapter 1

So I have Wattpad but this is my first time on this website, and first published Chicago PD story. Hopefully its okay :)

Jay Halstead sat waiting in the car for Hank Voight who was trying to talk some sense into Erin Lindsay. Jay understood why she went off the rails, she lost her best friend, but this wasn't Erin and both the men couldn't let her hang around her junkie mother. Hank Voight came storming out of the bar, he was furious and in his hand was a badge. Jay didn't need to know who's that was.

"Just drive." Voight shouted.

"No, Voight let me try."

"Halstead, she's going to break your heart."

"Look i'm not saying you had no effect, but honestly if I have to punch Bunny in the face to get to Erin I will."

"Jay" Voight spoke his eyes glazed with unshed tears.

"What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter what she said, its what effect that bitch has on her."

"Please just let me try."  
Hank nodded.

Jay exited the car towards the bar. He ordered a drink as soon as he walked in and Bunny immediately recognised him.

"Erin doesn't want to speak to you."

"How bout she tells me that herself." Jay bit back.

He approached the table.

"You know, if you want to quit that's fine by me, but don't punish Voight for caring about you, he's your father Erin, I've never seen your mother care about you as much as that man out there does. I understand your hurting, grieving, but doing this to yourself, drinking yourself till you don't even know what sober feels like, taking drugs from a sleezebag then sleeping with him, this is not the Erin Lindsay I know."

"Jay just leave me be."

"Nadia wouldn't want this for you Erin, she wouldn't want you to sit here and blame yourself."

"Don't play that card on me. I thought you loved me Jay."

"I do love you Erin and you know I'd be with you in a heartbeat, but your the one that called us off."

"See, i'm the problem. I bought Nadia into my world, I broke your heart. It's all my fault."

Jay couldn't speak, did she really blame herself.

"Why do you blame yourself Erin?"

"I let Voight get to me, I was so scared to seek his approval of us and I broke your heart in the process and then Nadia. It was my fault she was even out in the first place, she was getting my birthday cake."

"I sent Nadia out to get the cake, if you want to blame anybody blame me." Jay shouted tears streaming down his face as he realised he was the reason the young girl was out in the first place.

"I can't blame you Jay because I love you." Erin shouted back.

"If you love me then let me help you, let me be there for you, don't go down this road. Erin if you really want to break my heart, what your doing right now is a sure way to go about it."

Erin threw her arms around Jay, she clung to his body, as sobs racked her body. Jay could do nothing but hold her and let a few tears slide down his face.

This was what it felt like when your the real reason someone was dead and you have to hold her best friend in your arms and listen to her heartbreaking cries.

Jay managed to get Erin out to the car, Hank Voight watched on in absolute shock.

"Is she okay?" Voight asked.

"She's just processing." Jay spoke.

"You?"

"I'm fine."

"Let's just go."


	2. Chapter 2

The three of them arrived back at Erin Lindsay's apartment. Hank Voight had to control himself when Jay carried Erin upstairs to her room. He never approved of this relationship that the two had. But for tonight he bit his tongue and dealt with it. Jay had put Erin in her bed and let her sleep off the alcohol.

"She's asleep."

"Good."

"She's broken, Voight, she needs everyone more than ever."

"Well she's lucky to have you then." Voight spoke his tone had a slight hint at the relationship.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you think I don't know about you two, you think your both so smart at covering it up."

"Look i'm not gonna lie to you, Erin and I got together when she went to the task force, it wasn't against your rules, but once we thought you knew, we ended it."

"So what was tonight then?"

"Tonight was me trying to help out my partner."

Voight looked at Halstead, his emotions were hard to read. Jay couldn't tell if the man was happy about Erin and him or if he was angry, or if he was still hurt from what Erin had said to him earlier tonight.

"Anyway, I'm crashing here tonight, i'm happy to take the floor if you want the lounge." Jay spoke

"Yeah, okay." Voight replied.

The two set up their sleeping arrangements and lay down, they were there for a good 15 mins before Jay spoke up.

"I don't know what Erin said to you tonight but don't let it get to you, you've always been her father, your the only person she looks up to." Jay said breaking the silence.

"Thanks." Voight replied

In the morning, Erin woke to two voices in the kitchen and a banging headache.

"That's not how you make Pancakes Halstead." Voight argued.

"Hey, I know what i'm doing." Jay replied

"You've put salt instead of sugar."

"Have not."

"Really?" Erin spoke her arms were crossed and her brows furrowed as she looked on at the sight in front of her.

"Morning" the two men said in unison.

The two went back to the salt and sugar argument, both adamant they were right.  
"Go on then, cook one and see." Jay spoke competitively.

Erin rolled her eyes at the two men.

"Jay can you please pass me some paracetamol."

Jay popped out two and handed Erin a glass of water as well.

"Thanks." she smiled

Their hands lingered over each others for a while, until Hank coughed.

"How you feeling kiddo?" Hank asked.

"Like I was hit by a 14 tonne truck."

Hank had finished cooking the so called salted pancakes.

"Okay Halstead, nice try where's the chef?" Voight joked.

"That would be me."

After breakfast, Voight went to take a shower.

"So… I said some horrible things last night mainly to Voight but I practically implied that you never loved me and I apologise for that."

"Er, please don't apologise, I can't speak on behalf of Voight but I'm here to help you get through this, I don't want you to feel like your alone."

"Jay, we need to speak about last night, because we both said things that need to be discussed."

"I know, look Er, I love you I wasn't lying when I said that but I completely understand why you don't want us together, I can accept that."

"Jay I was wrong about us cooling off, if there was ever one thing about us that I could change was my reaction to Voight knowing."

"I don't want you to think that you have to do anything."

"Jay, I feel like some lovesick teenager whenever i'm around you, i'm so madly in love with you and I can't picture my life without you, I can't picture anybody spending my life with anybody else, it's you its always been you." Erin smashed their lips together, Jay bought his hands up to cup her mouth.

"I love you too." he mumbled into her mouth as their lips moved in sync.

"Er, you have to let me help you get through this though, please don't shut me out."

"Jay, I promise i'm never going back there again."

Hank Voight stood in the bathroom, he'd been standing there for the past 5 mins watching his daughter declare her love for Jay Halstead. He wanted to hate that boy, he wanted to disapprove on their relationship but he couldn't, not after he saw how happy Erin was.

Hank coughed, making his presence known.

Jay pulled apart immediately, Erin looked down to the ground in embarrassment.

"Uh How much of that did you hear?" Erin spoke.

"Enough." Voight spoke.

Oh god Jay was as good as dead. The three stood awkwardly in the middle of the lounge room for what felt like hours but was probably only a minute.

"I'm happy if your happy." Hank Voight spoke his eyes on Erin

Erin nodded her eyes welled with tears as Voight hugged her.

"Thanks Dad."

Jay felt like he shouldn't be here, he was intruding on a family moment.

"I'm just gonna pop down to the shops and grab a few things." Jay spoke exiting the door.

Voight guided Erin over onto the lounge.

"You know i've only ever tried to look out for you."

"I know."

"What you said last night it hurt."

"I'm so sorry, I never meant any of it. I let my stupid mother get to me."

"Erin, she's always tried to get you to turn your back on me."

Erin nodded "and eventually I was vulnerable enough to fall for it."

"I'm so sorry about what happened to Nadia, Erin I really am but there is nothing any of us can do about it and there is nothing we could have done to stop it that we didn't already try."

Erin nodded her eyes stinging with tears.

"She was out to get my birthday cake, if only it wasn't my god damn birthday."

"Hey, please don't blame yourself."

"Jay told me it wasn't my fault that it was his and I just can't blame him, I love him."

"Nobody is to blame okay, Nadia wouldn't want us to sit here and play the blame game, tell me what she'd want you to do right now."

"Never drink myself into that state ever again, remember all the happy memories and tell her all about how much I love Jay." Erin laughed. "She always loved the in house gossip."

"There you go, I don't care if you want a few weeks off, hell I'd give Halstead a few weeks off to spend with you if that's what you really want, but your not quitting Intelligence Erin, do you understand?"

Erin nodded "That was a stupid decision on my behalf."

Voight laughed, grabbing Erin into an embrace.

"I love you kiddo."

"Love you to Dad."

"I swear to god if Halstead hurts you, he's going to see the bottom of a river."

"Please don't be that kind of father." Erin spoke

"But I am."

Erin rolled her eyes.

Hey all, thanks for reading this its much appreciated. Not sure how many chapters this is going to be but please let me know if you want more. :)


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